I didn't know

I didn’t know what I didn’t know

As a child it’s easy to sit back and say oh yes that’s where it started or that’s what triggered xyz.

However we don’t know what we don’t know

I didn’t know it wasn’t normal for fathers to beat their children with a belt for a minor infraction

I didn’t know that sometimes daddy’s put their children to bed with a story and a gentle tuck in

I didn’t know that food was a luxury we sometimes struggled to have

I didn’t know the quarter I asked for to buy candy with was too much to spare

I didn’t know that sometimes a family went on trips together

I didn’t know that puffed rice was the sign of how impoverished we truly were

I didn’t know how much my mom struggled to find a smile when her world was slowly imploding

I didn’t know daddy’s didn’t always try to kill their loved ones

I didn’t know that there could be joy in change

I didn’t know people slept without nightmares

I didn’t know when people said they loved you, they meant it.

I didn’t know that love didn’t always hurt

I didn’t know some people felt safe in their homes

I didn’t know families didn’t always fight

I didn’t know it was ok to say you were scared, angry and upset

I didn’t know the climb out of depression was so hard

I didn’t know not everyone will want the best for you

I didn’t know we would lose people we desperately needed.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

And now that I know I can do better