When Shadows Come Knocking
At some point in our lives, we lose a portion of our identity.
It could have come through trauma, or through the nature of growing up. Sometimes we push those portions of us as far away as we can because of fear.
Whatever the cause the result is the same, we feel that something is missing from us.
When did the first shadow parts begin to work their way back to us, we don’t know what to do.
They start off slow gently tapping at the window panes of the house of beliefs we built around ourselves. While we lowered our gazes and pretended, we didn’t hear the call.
They then begin to get bolder and show themselves in broad daylight. They are loudly knocking at the door in front of the world to see.
As we struggle to keep these parts of ourselves from prying eyes the shadows become bigger and start their campaign to be heard.
The parts of ourselves we have lost want to come home.
The need for joy is found in the toddler self we shunned and labeled as sensitive.
The teenager brings with her a sense of empowerment and drive
The infant self that shares unconditional love wants to be held in our hearts, curled in our laps
I heard the knocking and crept to the window to see them there.
Waiting patiently as they knew their time would come.
I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to open the door to their energy, knowledge, or power.
Well as the universe always has her say, last night true to form she revealed her wisdom.
At 1 am, I heard the knowing yet again. With great hesitation and just as much fear, I opened the door.
The parts of myself I have tucked away, pushed aside and downright abandoned were all standing on my front porch.
The toddler with her straw-colored stick-straight hair, the toothy grinned 6-year-old with one sock up and one sliding down our ankle, the tweenager who sulks behind the other two not sure she is even wanted here.
Standing far behind them all at the very edge of my vision stands the woman who has waited almost 50 years to be seen.
She has a powerful presence and her light is so bright it almost blinds me. She stands tall and with great dignity.
As I bring my eyes to meet hers, the message is clear. It's time for you to let us all come home.
For we are you, and you are us. She is me- whole and complete.
Don't fear the Shadows, they bring you more gifts than you can imagine